Penny: So what do you think.
Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical but nothing to be worried about.

Penny: Oh, that's great. You're gonna be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No. I'll be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

How can you not be happy? You're tall, thin and famous. Oh, my God. I'm jealous of Sheldon.

Penny: "Want of Understanding"? What does that even mean?
Amy: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.

Raj: That's horrible. Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred.
Penny: Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat, like, a million hamburgers.
Raj: Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious.

Sweetie ... every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

I may be a bad waitress, but you're a bad person. Now, want to hear the specials?

Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Penny: Ooh, that looks like fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.

Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

The show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.