Scrubs

Perry Cox Quotes (Page 114)

Dr. Cox: Well, if she refuses dialysis, then there really is no ethical dilemma, is there?
J.D.: But what about our duty as doctors?
Dr. Cox: But what about our duty as doctors? Look. This is not about Mrs. Tanner's dialysis, this is about you. You're scared of death, and you can't be; you're in medicine for chrissakes. Sooner or later, you're going to realize that everything we do around here, everything is a stall. We're just trying to keep the game going, that's all. But, ultimately, it always ends up the same way
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: On the one hand, I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it. And, okay, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart...
Dr. Cox: I'm sleeping.
Elliot: On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning! You know?
Dr. Cox: Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you.
Elliot: I mean, it's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, J.D. always tells me how you've helped him out...
Dr. Cox: Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flicking policy, has he. Look! This whole "groovy guidance counselor" thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Look, this guy's gonna need 40 MAQ's of KCL; and go ahead and grab me when you get the results.
J.D.: You got it.
Dr. Cox: Oh, and his TV is broken, so, when you two do start tagging each other, least you can do is wake him up and let him watch.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: So, nothing was going on last night between me and Elliot.
Dr. Cox: Good thing you still have your flower then
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: I'm just a little lonely, you know; I guess 'cause I haven't really been hanging out with Turk since he's been dating Carla.
Dr. Cox: First of all, who's Turk? And don't answer. Look, if you have a medical question for me, I'm forced by hospital policy to answer you. However, if you ask me about a personal problem, I'm going to start doing this. [flicks J.D.'s ear]
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s narration: When you really lock in with a mentor, you start to understand the meaning behind their words.
Dr. Cox: You do whatever you want.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "Great idea!"
Dr. Cox: I'm, I'm just happy you haven't messed up yet today.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "You're really coming along as a doctor."
Dr. Cox: Don't. Ever. Touch me.
J.D.'s narration: Means: "Don't ever touch him"
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Will, the pneumonia patient, I got him to quit smoking.
Dr. Cox: Forever?
J.D.: Yuh-huh!
Dr. Cox: No "last one"? 'Cause the last ones are better than sex, trust me, I've had about a thousand of 'em
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: I ordered blood cultures and a high-resolution CT.
Will: What are you looking for?
Dr. Cox: Cancer.
J.D.'s thoughts: When you say the word "cancer," every person reacts the same way.
Will: Excellent.
J.D.'s thoughts: Not like that.
[Will faints]
J.D.'s thoughts: There it is
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: You are to return that umbrella to me at the hospital. Not here. Is that clear?
J.D.: Yeah.
Dr. Cox: Hey, newbie...know what your problem is?
J.D.: My bones hurt?
Dr. Cox: You were gonna, what, rescue me from loneliness with a $3 six-pack of light beer? It turns out we can't save people from themselves, newbie. We just treat 'em. We're gonna treat that kid with a respiratory problem, and when he comes back with cancer, go ahead and treat that too.
J.D.: Well, thanks for the pick-me-up.
Dr. Cox: Hey. Smokers, drinkers, druggies, fatties, whatever. All I'm saying is, if you keep living and dying on whether or not a person changes, well...you're not gonna make it as a doctor, that's all. Now come here and give me a hug. It's okay, come here. Come here. Get outta here! And take this piss water with you. It's embarrassing to have it here.
Dr Cox's friend: I'll drink it!
Dr. Cox: I'll take the beer. You'll beat it
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Would you stay? And watch the game with me? Maybe have a slice of pizza?
J.D.: Of course I will.
Dr. Cox: I can braid your hair. I know the couch isn't very deep, but we could move the back cushion and spoon. [Addressing his friends who have just walked in the door] Hey you guys, what do you say? Beer and chips in the back. [Turning back to J.D.] Just ignore them, and would you tell me the answer to this question: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?
 • Rating: Unrated

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