Scrubs

Perry Cox Quotes (Page 7)

Dr. Cox: Nice helmet!
J.D.: Actually it is not a helmet, it is a 'hairmet'. You see, it's got extra room built in so you don't mess up your hair due.
Dr. Cox: I'm going to write you a prescription for two testicles. You get it filled whenever.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patient: How was Acapulco?
Elliot: We told everyone that you were in Acapulco.
Dr. Cox: I never went to Acapulco. I lost three patients and spent the last two weeks on my couch trying to drink myself to death so that my victims and I could be reunited in the afterlife and they could rightly have their vengeance but then I realized that tactic would never work as I would be sent straight to hell, which I imagine is a lot like Acapulco only there would be fewer Latin men trying to sell me Chiclets on the beach. All the best.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: Barbie, are you a real doctor, or a doctor like Dr Pepper is a doctor?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: How about we just agree that we're never gonna be that close?
Elliot: We could, except for one thing. I know we have our issues, but I've always respected you, and you haven't given me more than an ounce of that since I started here.
Dr. Cox: ...I didn't go into that bathroom to take a leak. I went in there because I was petrified that I was gonna make the wrong decision about Mrs. Goldstein. And I didn't want anybody to know, because it is so very important to me that people see me the way they used to. Bulletproof. And hopefully admitting this to you will make you feel respected.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.'s Narration: Maybe he just needed time to heal, or maybe he just needed to see how much everybody cared. But I'd like to believe that it was because of me that he was finally able to say this:
Dr. Cox: You don't drink scotch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: (Drunk) Newbie, would you give me some trouble, I'm having a little help here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: I dole out compliments, at most, once a year and, like a squirrel, you must gather up these acorns of kind words to sustain you for the upcoming cold, sarcastic months.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself for peoples' deaths there's no coming back.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, you're right.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: So, now, Davey boy, I promise you we're going to find you a kidney. I would literally swear on my father's grave but whenever I go there I usually just end up dancing on it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: Once you start blaming yourself for deaths that aren't your fault, my friend... that's a slippy slope that you can't come back from it. Trust me, I've seen it ruin a hell a lot of good doctors, and I will not let it happen to you.
J.D.'s narration: And because he said that...I know it wouldn't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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