Scrubs

Perry Cox Quotes (Page 8)

J.D.: You know what I was thinking the whole time I was with Jill?
Dr. Cox: No,what?
J.D.: God, this girl is annoying.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: God. Could this be anymore of a nightmare?
Jill: Guys!
J.D.'s narration: Yes. It could be more of a nightmare. Jill Tracy was a former patient that had once tried to kill herself. Sad, yes. But this did not change the fact that she was unbelievable annoying.
Jill: Oh, my god. What are you doing here? I was supposed to meet a guy for a date. I know what you are thinking: a Tuesday lunch in a supermarket, he is so not into her. Well, he is not! (J.D. and Dr. Cox fake laugh) I waited like an hour, just thinking: How many more guys can totally reject me without saying 'enough'? You know. So, would you like to get some lunch.
J.D.: Oh, we have to get back to the hospital
Dr. Cox: You know what, Newbie? Stay, have lunch. (Runs quickly out of the store)
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Hey, hungry?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I guess that lunch was kinda a one time thing, huh?...There's no way you could've seen that coming. I mean, rabies? Come on, there's like three reported cases a year. In fact testing for it, would have been irresponsible...you would have wasted time that people didn't have.
Dr. Cox: I was obsessed with getting those organs.
J.D.: You had to be, the fact is that those people were gonna die in a number of hours and you had to make a call...I would've made the same call.
Dr. Cox: Yeah?
J.D.: Yes. Anyway, I got us lunch and I think we should eat it.
J.D.'s narration: Right then, I knew I was gonna pull him outta this. But unfortunately, sometimes the hospital picks a day where it's just gonna pile it on.
(Their pagers beep)
Dr. Cox: Oh god...come on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: That's game, alright? That's game! You got next??
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I got next.
Laverne: Lonnie! Play with Dr. Cox.
Lonnie: Let's go!
Turk: Dude! Look at the glasses! Look at the mouthpiece!
Laverne: Dr. Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.
Dr. Cox: Laverne, would you go ahead and thank whats-his-name for me?
Laverne: Jesus?
Dr. Cox: That's him.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: I'm black, God knew my people would go through struggles so he gave us a lifetime of cool to compensate. Just like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged and he gave you all this dance... (Dances awkwardly)
Dr. Cox: You're black? 'Cause last I checked you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond, and you damn sure act like a black guy and these are all characteristics of white guys. Please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP. If you're don't know what that stands for, it's the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. And quite frankly, I always thought they should change the 'colored people' to 'African Americans' but then of course it wouldn't be the NAACP it'd be the N quad A or NAAAA. And I know this probably sounds like a digression but actually brings me back to my original point...do I think you're black? Naaaaaaaaa!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: Hello! That is a nice ride, huh Dexter? I hate to bother you but could you explain to me one more time, what is it like to be a young, hip black guy?
Turk: You see Dr. Cox, what I'm going to do is to pimp this out. We are going to put in 22s on it and put some spinners on the 22s.
Carla: Oh and a DVD-player so the kids can watch Elmo!
Turk: You're killing me, woman!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. McNair's Computer: Why does he call you a girl's name?
J.D.: Thank you for asking Mr. McNair. You see the thing about Dr. Cox is that the closer he feels to a person, the more he needs to push them away. So when he calls me Eva he is actually saying "J.D., I care about you". Vulnerable people like Dr. Cox-
Mr. McNair's Computer: Oh my God! I get it now, Carol! Carol! Carol! Carol!
J.D.: Now you are being a jerk. Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!
Dr. Cox: Newbie! I'm relatively certain that the computer is broken.
J.D.: Oh, my bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

(JD doing a video for his mother)
J.D.: Dr. Cox, do you have anything you'd like to say to my mom?
Dr. Cox: No, but I have something I'd like to say to her uterus, because it brought you into this world.
(Shakes the camera)
Dr. Cox: Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jordan: What's going on?
Ted: I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.
Dr. Cox: Ted's on the phone with his mom, so we're taking five.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: What's a "Buckland"?
Dr. Cox: It is a predominately hairless growth that is never found on women.
Ted: Weird.
Dr. Cox: It's your last name Ted.
Ted: Good one!
 • Rating: Unrated

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