Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFavorite Peter Griffin Quotes
Nigel: Yes, and I'm afraid I'm the limey bastard who's purchased your bar. A bit of an awkward moment, really.
Peter: Awkward moment? I'll give you an awkward moment. One time during sex I called Lois "Frank". Your move, Sherlock
Peter: Lois, you're too nosy. Like that waiter at that restaurant.
(flashback)
Waiter: And who had the prime rib?
Peter: I hardly think that's any of your business.
There's an apartment above that Arby's, with toys in the window. Someone has built a life there. What a mess.
This is crazy! Is no one really making me flapjacks yet?
Hey, I'm not just a poorly-cleaned butt. There's a whole man around man around that you have to please.
Peter: Aren't you supposed to be running?
Chicken: Don't talk to me. You have a bad reputation in the chicken community.
Peter [on Family Feud answering something you'd like to receive as a gift]: Well my whole family agreed on money, so I'm going to go with the flute that Captain Picard played, first in his imagination and then in real life, in the episode "The Inner Light" from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!
Peter: I beleive I am psyhic. My first prediction is that i'm either going to fly or ruin that family's picnic!
[runs and tries to fly, crashing on family's picnic]
Woman: Hey you ruined our picnic!
Peter: Psychic!
I always wanted a brother or a sister. Instead, I got a broster.
You don't have to quit the force. I mean, you could get a desk job. Eh? You could be a desk
Peter: Brian, can I see that paper for a sec? [Brian hands him the paper] Huh, that's odd. I thought that would be big news.
Brian: You thought what would be big news?
Peter: Well, there seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Peter: Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard...
Brian: Heard what?
Stewie: Brian, don't! [Peter puts the record on and starts dancing and singing]
