Peter Griffin Quotes
For Xerxes, every meal is a pageant.
Chris: No! What just happened? What was that thing?
Peter: I don't know, some kind of superbird. Or maybe just an average bird who bought a Bowflex.
Peter: Hey Lois, let's go outside and see if we can find some great tits! 'Cause there certainly ain't any in here!
Chris: Remember those two we saw last night? One was bigger than the other!
Peter: Well, I'll be on the lookout for great tits.
Brian: Well actually Lois, that's a species of bird that's been known to frequent domestic birdhouses.
Chris: Mom, Dad, I need to get new sneakers.
Lois: What? I just bought you new sneakers!
Chris: I know, but I need cooler ones!
Peter: Shut up and stop complaining. When I was your age, I didn't even have sneakers! We wore stale hamburger buns.
Lois: No you didn't, Peter.
Peter: Shh! He doesn't know that, he's just a dumb fat loser! Did you see his shoes?
Lois: You know, Peter, since it's Valentine's Day, I was thinking let's do something we've never done before.
Peter: Release the virus?
Hey, I'm not just a poorly-cleaned butt. There's a whole man around man around that you have to please.
Stewie: You should know that Mom has emotionally let you go. It won't be long before she takes another.
Peter: Owww, my head!
Stewie: She already has two cell phones.
Hey, was Beowulf a Teen Wolf sequel with Scott Baio?
Peter: Lois, do you have any idea what i'm looking at right now?
Lois: Peter, we're not doing this again.
Peter: I am at Harvard, the smartest school in the country. And they have...
Lois: Peter, breakfast for dinner is anarchy!
Peter: It's fun, Lois! It's whimsical!
Lois: It's ridiculous! Pancakes are not a nighttime food!
Peter: You're ridiculous!
Hey, can you read that page with all the little paragraphs about dead people? They're hilarious.
Hey Brian, can you believe I found this blazer on the side of the highway?