Peter Griffin Quotes
Fletcher met the long arm of the law at the wrong end of a shotgun at the deep end of a grave at the far end of a dead end road.
Lois: Oh Peter, this voice of yours is really something. I can't get enough of it!
Peter: Yeah, it's been pretty great. Y'know, I even won a deep voice contest with Joe yesterday.
Lois: Oh my god, that was amazing. I'm gonna have to crawl to the bathroom.
Peter: Yeah, that was incredible. It was the first time I had an orgasm out the front and back.
Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep!
Peter: I think I'm sick.
Lois: Well, you don't sound like yourself. In fact, you sound kinda hot!
Peter: I just threw up two chicken gyros out the side of my nose, they're on your side of the bed.
Lois: Ohhhh...say that again!
We are the proud nation where someone can shoot up their entire workplace with a thing, and then the next day nobody talks about banning that thing!
You know, I actually feel really bad for him, you know he knew 19 guys who died on 9/11? What're the odds of that?
So wait, let me get this straight? Sweet hat, obedient wife, and I get to yell "Admiral Ackbar!" when I do stuff? You have got yourself a Muslim.
Peter: You know who'd look funny wearing one of those? The Monopoly guy!
Mahmoud: Correct! Go directly to jail and convert to Islam!
Peter: Hahaha, because they do that!
Mahmoud: Yes, that is what I intended.
Bob Costas: I'm Bob Costas, here with Boston Marathon winner Peter Griffin. Peter, how did you do it?
Peter: Bob, I just got in my car and drove it. And when there was a guy in my way, I killed him.
Hey guys, let's try to recreate this feeling for the rest of our lives with drugs!
Quagmire: Whoa, is that Harrison Ford?
Peter: Yeah, it says in the brochures that he assists with all the jumps.
Harrison Ford: Get off my plane!
Peter: Can I listen to my iPod on the way down?
Skydiving Instructor: Yeah, just as long as it's not Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'."