Peter Griffin Quotes
Bob Costas: I'm Bob Costas, here with Boston Marathon winner Peter Griffin. Peter, how did you do it?
Peter: Bob, I just got in my car and drove it. And when there was a guy in my way, I killed him.
Hey guys, let's try to recreate this feeling for the rest of our lives with drugs!
Quagmire: Whoa, is that Harrison Ford?
Peter: Yeah, it says in the brochures that he assists with all the jumps.
Harrison Ford: Get off my plane!
Peter: Can I listen to my iPod on the way down?
Skydiving Instructor: Yeah, just as long as it's not Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'."
Peter: I have two ideas. One that I think is awesome and one that I think is stupid. We could either A: rob a Mafia poker game, or B: skydive
Joe: Skydive? I'd be totally up for that!
Quagmire: Yeah, I've always wanted to try skydiving!
Peter: Really? Eh, could be fun I guess.
Lois: It's like our privates were shaking hands after a successful business deal in a swamp!
Peter: To me, it just proves that we're truly meant to be together.
Lois: I love you, Peter.
Peter: I love you too, Lois. [beat] By the way, you may have to become a full-on prostitute because our phone bill was $7,000.
Peter: Hey Joe, how often do you have sex with Bonnie?
Joe: Well, my HMO only pays for the equipment once a year, why?
Lois: Peter, can't you just use Sock Lois tonight?
Peter: No, Sock Lois doesn't feel authentic to me any more!
Lois: Now what are we going to do, we have no money!
Peter: Why it's okay, Lois, we have a wonderful family!
Lois: No we don't, there's Meg and Dummy and Big Head.
For Xerxes, every meal is a pageant.
Chris: No! What just happened? What was that thing?
Peter: I don't know, some kind of superbird. Or maybe just an average bird who bought a Bowflex.
Peter: Hey Lois, let's go outside and see if we can find some great tits! 'Cause there certainly ain't any in here!
Chris: Remember those two we saw last night? One was bigger than the other!