Family Guy

Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 11)

Peter: Lois, you have a gray hair.
Lois: What?
Peter: Inch and a half left of your part.
Lois: Oh my god, you're right.
Peter: You know I don't mind so much that you're aging, it's just the way you're shoving it down my throat.
Lois: Screw you Peter.
Peter: Wow, not today.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Does he have maybe a thinner, hotter daughter?
Joe: Well, yes, but she's only 12.
Peter: Like a young 12 or a "she eats a lot of milk product so she got her boos early" 12? Which is a real thing by the way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I beleive I am psyhic. My first prediction is that i'm either going to fly or ruin that family's picnic!
[runs and tries to fly, crashing on family's picnic]
Woman: Hey you ruined our picnic!
Peter: Psychic!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: I'm going to prove to you that there is no such thing as someone that is psychic and that with the most minimal training and the right set of buzz words, anyone can appear to be psychic, even a complete boob like Peter. Watch this.
Peter: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm psychic and I'm getting a strong feeling from you. Do you have a watch or clock that no longer works?
Woman: Wow. I used to have a watch that broke!
Brian: You see just by asking very general questions that would apply to most people, a person can appear to have inside knowledge about you.
Peter: I'm also sensing that you have a dead relative.
Woman: My husband died of cancer last year.
Peter: Oh my god, awesome. I'm sensing some other bad stuff.
Woman: My daughter was just in an accident.
Peter: Sweet! High five!
Woman: You're awful.
Peter: You don't want to hear the truth, don't come to the park.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Hold on, Lois, this is some serious parenting, I'm gonna go put on my Cosby sweater.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Brian: What the hell is all this?
Peter: Well I'm a bachelor so now I invited a bunch of people over and now I'm waiting for them to leave. That's what bachelors do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Crocodile Dundee: That's not a knife, this is a knife.
Peter: This is also a knife.
Crocodile Dundee: Well then, I'll be on my way.
Peter: I want to see more of him and then suddenly none of him... forever.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Peter [on Family Feud answering something you'd like to receive as a gift]: Well my whole family agreed on money, so I'm going to go with the flute that Captain Picard played, first in his imagination and then in real life, in the episode "The Inner Light" from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Man: And we're picking you because you have three sons.
Meg: But I'm...
Peter: Shut up, Meg.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Stewie [watching Lawrence of Arabia]: Who's that rather attractive woman on a camel?
Brian: That's Peter O'Toole.
Peter: You movie buffs might likes this, both of his names are slang for penis.
 • Rating: Unrated

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