Peter Griffin Quotes
I can't go to jail. They'll razz me good on account of my belly.
What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to 65.
I'm as creative as the first spider to spin a web.
Hey, Meg, I like your new boyfriend. Every pot finds a lid, huh?
We act like we didn't take a lot from The Simpsons, but we took a lot from The Simpsons.
Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.
Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.
Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!
He's my friend, I miss him.
Brian: Permission to take fast tiny bites at my own tail, sir?
Peter: Go ahead.
It enhances my life to know how your life is going!
Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.