Peter Griffin Quotes
My name's Evan by the way.Evan
Lois, please send these back to the factory, I believe they're defective.
Peter: Haha, remember somebody said that?
Doctor: I did a CAT scan
Peter: On a dog, haha.
Doctor: Haha, we laughed about that too.
Doesn't it make more sense…to kill her?
Peter: Haha, like what the guy scientist says. Brian, say something else from TV!
Brian: Watchu talkin bout Willis!?
A huge part of being an idiot is calling people out for thinking they're better than you.
Peter: You want a beer?
Brian: Peter, it's 11 AM.
Peter: If the clock ain't digital, you don't know that!
I don't speak for Jesus, I just get him trim.
Peter: Like, anything in the universe?
Peter: Brookstone massage chair.
Jesus: Are you sure?
Peter: Never been more sure about anything in my life.
Peter: Oh look Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas. And if I remember correctly, isn't your birthday sometime soon too?
Jesus: Ah whatever, I'm fine. I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.
You want me to pick up something on the way or, no you're good?