Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
Alex is teaching herself Chinese so she'll be useful when they finish buying us.
Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!
I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?
That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.
Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.
Phil: Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley, I guess you're not getting that car.
Haley: I was getting a car?
Phil: No, I was lying. Because that's what Dunphys do now, we're liars.
While Claire watched one of the most highly-acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly made schlock-fest, with absolutely no redeeming value - and it was awesome!
Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?
Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.
Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks.
Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them
You look hot enough to cook a pizza on... in.
Tell me it was about booze, cheating, physical abuse - no problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me.
Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?
Phil: The smartest in the world!
