Modern Family

Phil Dunphy Quotes (Page 24)

Phil: We raised our kids right. One of them will come forward, or the other two will rat them out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: We're gonna pass into legend. The parents who canceled Christmas.
Phil: I thought you'd be happy.
Claire: They'll write songs about us. They'll make a Christmas special with those ugly little clay pieces.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: I can forgive the smoking, but I can't forgive the lie.
[Claire glares at him]
Phil: Or the smoking.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: I guess the couch did it to itself. I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette and burned itself. Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley, I guess you're not getting that car.
Haley: I was getting a car?
Phil: No, I was lying. Because that's what Dunphys do now, we're liars.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire [to kids]: Which one of you was smoking?
Phil: Not me, I have a respiratory problem.
Claire: Obviously, not you.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: Where's mom?
Phil's Dad: Mom is sinking fast.... she's in the bath tub.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: I am brave. Roller coasters? Love 'em. Scary movies? I've seen Ghostbusters,like, seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything...Except clowns. Never shared that with the fam, so...shh. Do have an image to maintain.I am not really sure where the fear comes from. My mother says it's because when I was a kid, I found a dead clown in the woods, but who knows?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: You have nothing to fear, but fear itself... and the concrete.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Phil [to Claire]: Let me know if you run low on supplies, I'll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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