Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Just when I’m so close to the Canadian border I can smell the bacon and reasonably priced medications.

As a my favorite redhead once sang, “the sun will come out tomorrow.” That redhead of course was Mitchell, introducing me to the plucky orphan Annie. Whose never say die attitude pulled this country out of a little thing called The Great Depression. And anything a little girl can do, I can try to do too.

Two things I bring to every open house, my lucky pen and a smile. I haven’t sold a house all month. Do you see me saying “I’m done”? Never. Because there is no “done” in Dunphy.

Phil: Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one, no one says that.

Uh, uh, nobody throws up until I sing.

Their ship went down but their love lasted forever!

We're in my kitchen, you have to stop saying 'hooker!'

Well do you like this suit? I wouldn't know because all you said was that it was tight and not in a cool, black way.

Claire: It's a little tight.
Phil: Well the salesman said it was the style and he looked like a Mumford and Son so I think he would know.

Now that his hunnie gots her own money, daddy went and snagged himself some new threads girlll.

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 308 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
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