Phil Dunphy Quotes
Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction. I remember a certain young lady who was pretty addicted to Miss Pacman until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather, it was a dreamcatcher. And it worked.
Claire: Welcome to the insane asylum of from hell!
Phil: That's what it feels like.
Claire: You gonna put some blood on that? Maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding, I know it's Jay and Dede.
I'm kind of in a delicate spot stuck between my wife and the guy next door, but I'm pretty sure I can satisfy them both simultaneously.
Being a realtor man means working on sundays. Like priests and Lesley Stahl.
Not since I fell off the roof while they were delivering our trampoline have things come together so beautifully.
If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.
Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.
Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.
Phil: Those drops are really hanging on. I’m like Han Solo when he came out of the carbonite. Nothing?
Alex: I get it. Star Trek.
Phil: You’re breaking my heart.
I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.