Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one, no one says that.

Uh, uh, nobody throws up until I sing.

Their ship went down but their love lasted forever!

We're in my kitchen, you have to stop saying 'hooker!'

Well do you like this suit? I wouldn't know because all you said was that it was tight and not in a cool, black way.

Claire: It's a little tight.
Phil: Well the salesman said it was the style and he looked like a Mumford and Son so I think he would know.

Now that his hunnie gots her own money, daddy went and snagged himself some new threads girlll.

Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!

Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?

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