Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Phil Dunphy this is the year 2025, welcome, you're the first one here.

Haley: In Legally Blonde Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.
Phil: Haley this is real life, not an excellent movie.

Look this has gotta be some kind of mistake. Our daughter is tiny, there's no way she assaulted anyone. Insulted maybe. Was the cop wearing white socks and dark shoes? Because that really sets her off.

I'm not a rider, I'm a strider.

I'm not nervous, I've had hogs bigger than this between my legs!

Phil: It's not nerdy, Luke back me up.
Luke: I hope you mean into the garage because I have friend on this street.

Wait so you're telling me this call isn't coming from inside the house?

Seriously, Gryffindor letting his mom carry his quidditch pole, how Hufflepuff is that?

Hey, the world needs more dreamers Luke. Never stop licking things.

Some people describe this escape as visual poetry!

Spontaneous human combustion is very rare!

I'm totally pumped. Pumped pumped pumped, Pump up the jam, Pumped up kicks, Pumpedy dumpty, Pumple-stiltskin.

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