Popular Pierce Hawthorne Quotes
Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.
Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone that turns me on?
Pierce: My name is Pierce Hawthorne, and yes, that's Hawthorne as in "Hawthorne Wipes," the award-winning most towelette.
Jeff: I was just gonna ask.
Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce
Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
You do this thing with your face when you're trying to be funny that forces people to think about how cool you are. It's very distracting
I failed Annie. I'm no more of a song writer than you or Billy Joel
Dean Pelton: Well look at this group having some of meeting and being so diverse. There is just, boy! There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?
Pierce: Well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it!
Britta: Ah, Pierce, that's the dean
Shirley: My husband's been gone for six months, I think it's time I start embracing being single
Pierce: Message received
Jeff: In the last two months you've doubled the national average for the amount lived per life time
Pierce: Well I do have a young African American friend
Jeff: But more importantly you're dressed like a gladiator in a desk fort you built during a bad trip
Abed: This is kinda like Breakfast Club, right?
Pierce: Is there breakfast?
