Pierce: My name is Pierce Hawthorne, and yes, that's Hawthorne as in "Hawthorne Wipes," the award-winning most towelette.
Jeff: I was just gonna ask.

Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone that turns me on?

Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.

Abed: This is kinda like Breakfast Club, right?
Pierce: Is there breakfast?

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.