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Pierce Hawthorne Quotes (Page 10)

Pierce: Before AIDS, sex was like shaking hands.
Abed: Hence AIDS
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Jeff: In the last two months you've doubled the national average for the amount lived per life time
Pierce: Well I do have a young African American friend
Jeff: But more importantly you're dressed like a gladiator in a desk fort you built during a bad trip
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Shirley: My husband's been gone for six months, I think it's time I start embracing being single
Pierce: Message received
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dean Pelton: Well look at this group having some of meeting and being so diverse. There is just, boy! There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?
Pierce: Well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it!
Britta: Ah, Pierce, that's the dean
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Pierce: I failed Annie. I'm no more of a song writer than you or Billy Joel
 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce [to Jeff]: You do this thing with your face when you're trying to be funny that forces people to think about how cool you are. It's very distracting
 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine

 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce

 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: My name is Pierce Hawthorne, and yes, that's Hawthorne as in "Hawthorne Wipes," the award-winning most towelette.
Jeff: I was just gonna ask.
 • Rating: Unrated

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