Pierce Hawthorne Quotes (Page 8)
Season 1, Episode 21: "The Art of Discourse"
Abed: He still assumes I'm a terrorist.
Pierce: If you're not, I'm sorry. If you are, I'm a hero. I'm willing to take that chance.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Britta: So what's the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits... I'm just trying to help you find yourself.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 20: "Contemporary American Poultry"
Pierce: abed, Your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead, know what I mean?
Abed: I don't.
Jeff. you're not alone in this case. Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase, streets ahead
Pierce: Trying? Coined and minted.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 19: "Beginner Pottery"
Shirley: I've never been a captain before.
Pierce: I have I commanded a jet ski through an electrical storm and only had one casualty.
Troy: Jet skis only hold two people.
Pierce: Exactly, I saved half the crew.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 18: "Basic Genealogy"
Pierce: Have a family, share your life. That and learning computers are two things you just can't knock out at the end.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 17: "Physical Education"
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Pierce: I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that ends with an explosion.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Troy: Abed, what are you doing?
Abed: Being myself.
Troy: Go be yourself by Jenny.
Abed: I wouldn't go over there.
Pierce: How do you know that?
Abed: A lifetime of observation mostly.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 16: "Communication Studies"
Chang: We're going to get frozen yogurt.
Pierce [getting on Chang's scooter]: I'm not gay man, they close in seven minutes.
Troy: I could have driven you.
Chang: You said he hated froyo.
Pierce: Just drive!
Troy: Slut!
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 15: "Romantic Expressionism"
Jeff: You started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend!
Annie: What? We haven't even kissed.
Pierce: That doesn't mean you're not having sex.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 112