Franklin: I went on a vision quest and had sex for 12 straight hours on a mountain top on Joshua Tree once. I would have kept going but we were surrounded by coyotes.
Pindar: Is any of that true?
Franklin: I went to Joshua Tree once.

First you trample my soul then you steal my girlfriend.

Carmen: Why are we getting American Sausage Maker?
Pindar: I enjoy encased meats, if I know exactly what's in them.

Pindar: I was in a cell.
Infeld: Nasty place. I've been.
Pindar: There was a toilet in the middle of the room. I saw things.

We can't go home. Not while the tent is up.

Carmen: Guys, come on. He stills sleeps with a night light.
Pindar: Don't tell them I told you.

Pindar: Do you guys know what spontaneous combustion means?
Peter: Latin for Pindar.

It's so soft. It feels like I'm sitting on a giant bunny rabbit, that I'm not allergic to.

I'm on 72 different prescribed medications but I know what I saw.

Pindar: Do you think he wants to see my drone?
Peter: Is that a euphemism?

Jared: Cheer up Pindy. We found your missing package. Mega Ab Belt, right behind the planter.
Pindar: Oh great. My cell mate can lay his head on my rock hard abs.

Franklin & Bash Quotes

See that's a talent, sounding like a total asshole even when you're supposedly saying something sincere.

Franklin

"Sorry, sorry. Jean Claude Van Damme marathon last night. Unavoidable.

Franklin