The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Principal Skinner Quotes
(On the phone) Lord, give me guidance... That's right, the guidance department. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.
Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: De-hance! De-hance!
Simpson! I'll teach you to make a Poupon me!
Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.
That theremin has paid for itself time and time again.
We can handle the alcoholism, melted cheese in the microwave and, selling A's for cigarettes, but not laying a hand on a child.
Chalmers: I hate waiting. That's why I hate risotto.
Skinner: Even mushroom risotto?
Chalmers: What do you think?!?
Bart: Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Seymour: Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.
It's called precipitation because it never fails to precipitate bad behavior.
Principal Skinner: I must say, Lisa, it was amusing to see you thoroughly de-high-horsed.
Lisa: That isn't a word.
Principal Skinner: Oooh, back on the saddle she climbs.
You're like egg salad at a picnic, Simpson. Even when you look good, we know you're going bad.
Skinner: So from now on our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
Nelson: What about po' boys?
Skinner: Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.
