The Simpsons

Principal Skinner Quotes (Page 9)

Homer: Hmm. But enough about Bart. Tell me, Principal Skinner, are you married?
Principal Skinner: Well, only to my job.
Homer: But if you weren't married to your job, you'd tend to go for a girl, right?
Principal Skinner: (chuckles) Well, of course.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts.
Homer: Series? Awww.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.
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Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider...deportation.
Marge: Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the country?
Homer: Eh, hear him out, Marge.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Principal Skinner introduces the new exchange student, Adil, to the school.)
Principal Skinner: You may find his accent peculiar. Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive. But I urge you all to give little Adil the benefit of the doubt. In this way, and only this way, can we hope to better understand our backward neighbors throughout the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Principal Skinner pays a visit to the Simpson home.)
Marge: Homer, Principal Skinner is here.
Homer: Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. I'd get up, but the boy crippled me.
Skinner: Mm-hmm. I understand completely.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Principal Skinner tries to convince Marge and Homer to place Bart in the student exchange program.)
Principal Skinner: Actually, he'd be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.
Marge: But Bart doesn't speak French.
Principal Skinner: Oh, when he's fully immersed in a foreign language, the average child can become fluent in weeks!
Homer: Yeah, but what about Bart?
Principal Skinner: I'm sure he'll pick up enough to get by.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
Martin: And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is 'W-I-E-N-E-R', although 'E-I' is an acceptable ethnic variant.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody...err...medley of holiday flavorites.
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Principal Skinner: The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol.
Homer: How many grades does this school have!?
 • Rating: Unrated

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