That sweater’s legit.

Well, once you’ve seen a baby come out of girl’s magic garden everything else is easily acceptable.

Have you noticed how hot I look in my uniform?

The past is dead to me. Except for maybe just one thing.

Coach Beiste: He's dead. And all we've got left is his voice in our head. I'm sorry, but it's time. You've gotta be your own quarterback.
Puck: Do you think we could retire his number. Kurt has his letterman jacket. Maybe we could frame it or something. Put it up in here. Other kids should know who he was years from now.

What chance do I have of not being an idiot and hurting people without him to remind me who I really am?

Coach Beiste: You're drunk.
Puck: You're beautiful.
Coach Beiste: You puke in my locker room, you're cleaning it up.

[to Finn] Dude, I'm just here for my bro, some brews, and the bountiful Bettys. I love college!

Puck: One night with me and I'll have you studying for your Bat Mitzvah.
Kitty: Not a chance. I like bacon too much.

Kitty: You want to keep me away from your brother? Give me a big old yarn ball of muscles to distract me.
Puck: Aren't you underage?
Kitty: I have a fake I.D.
Puck: Good enough for me.

[to Jake] I had every flavor of Cheerio you can imagine. Original. Honey Nut. Did it really mean anything? No.

Puck: Merry Hanukkah, dude.
Jake: Right back at you, bro.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.