Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Sheldon: I have got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon. Help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the sword master!
Wolowitz: Leonard, look out!
Leonard: Damn it, Sheldon, we're dying here.
Sheldon: Goodbye, peasants.
Leonard: Bastard teleported!
Raj: He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay.
Leonard: You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
Sheldon: I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait... somebody just clicked Buy It Now.
Wolowitz: I am the sword master!

Raj [drunk]: Where did my life go, Penny?
[everyone is shocked Raj is talking to Penny]
Raj: One day, I'm a carefree bachelor, and the next, I'm married and driving a minivan to pee-wee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.
Penny: Are you talking to me?
Raj: Is there another Penny here?

Penny [to Raj about Lalita]: No one can make you get married. Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens?
Raj: Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard: Um, Raj?
Wolowitz: No, no, let's see how long it takes him

Leonard: Look at the bright side. [Lalita] might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl.
Raj: Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her, and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence.
Wolowitz: Worked for my parents

How can I be a gynocologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

I had such plans. I had dreams. I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics... but with a penis, of course

Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But you're a dentist, he's nuts

If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done

Raj [on approaching a girl]

Can we please make a decision? Not only there are children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!

Koothrappali [on waiting for food]

Leonard: No, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed.
Raj: Like who?
Leonard: I don't know... Olivia Geiger?
Sheldon: The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and lazy eye?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Well, I don't think you have a shot there

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj