Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king... I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.... One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world.. and make the rabbits watch.

Nathan Fillion: How about a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Aww. That's good enough for Facebook.

Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.

Raj: You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
Bernadette: That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.

We represent the lollipop gang and we want you.

Raj [to Sheldon]

Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils.

Raj's girlfriend: Who's your favorite player?
Raj: Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure.

I'm a walking, brown Yelp.com.

Sorry boys, say "hi" to your mother when she comes to pick you up... or I could just tell her later tonight!

Raj: Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
Howard: It might've been on your lips but it was my kiss.
Raj: Oh, fine, let's agree she kissed both of us.
Howard: Okay.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They're practicing for what's coming later.