Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Please don't send me back to India! It's so crowded. It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con, except everyone's wearing the same costume -- Indian Guy.

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king... I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.... One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world.. and make the rabbits watch.

Raj: This old pen kind of proves gravity. When I tilt it, her bathing suit falls right off.
Howard: Oh, my dad used to have a pen like that. I dated it all through sixth grade.

Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.

Ooh! This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

Howard: She spends half the time licking her butt.
Raj: And the other half licking my face.

So if you want to solve the mystery of who stabbed Koothrappali in the back with the weapon of indifference, it was all of you.

Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise? Get it? Enterprise? Screw you. That's funny.

TBBT Quotes

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj