Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: Stuart, you want to hang out tomorrow night? Maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Stuart: Yeah, I would like to, but I'm a little light on funds.
Raj: No problem. My treat, I'll swing by after work.
Stuart: [watches Raj leave] I could do worse.
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Raj: What are you drinking?
Stuart: Coffee liquor in a Chewbacca mug. I call it a Sadtini.
- Permalink: What are you drinking? Coffee liquor in a Chewbacca mug. I cal...
Raj: Sorry I started without you. I'm a little nervous. It's been a long time since I've been on a date.
Amy: I can't believe I bleached my mustache for this.
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Right now, Howard is staring down on our planet like a Jewish Greek god - "Zuesawitz".
- Permalink: Right now, Howard is staring down on our planet like a Jewish Gr...
Bernadette: I love that man.
Raj: Me too.
- Permalink: I love that man. Me too.
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch 'Star Trek'; I live it.
Raj: Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of 'Star Trek' where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want. There is only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
- Permalink: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch 'Sta...
Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat roll into the street.
- Permalink: Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under t...
Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I could walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Threeway.
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Raj: Oh, oh, what about the tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-Con?
Howard: Don't remember. Please sit down.
Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
Raj: Oh, oh, don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about 200 lbs of Sailor Moon between us.
Wil [recording on his phone]: Oh, Internet, this is so going all over you.
Sheldon: Jeepers, I'm drunk.
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Ooh! This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.
- Permalink: Ooh! This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.
You don't want strippers? You're the king of strippers. That one club in North Hollywood named a pole after you.
- Permalink: You don't want strippers? You're the king of strippers. That one...
Leonard: Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before?
Raj: Three times. He begged the Fox network not to cancel 'Firefly.' He begged the TNT network to cancel 'Babylon 5.' And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl Parade, he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly.
- Permalink: Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before?...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
- Permalink: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again? Yes, i...