Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
- Permalink: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be. Because in ...
Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?
- Permalink: Will you take that stupid red hat off? No, I want to blend in ...
Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever
- Permalink: I call it the Clooney I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whate...
Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"
- Permalink: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for m...
Wolowitz [after seeing Penny jump Leonard]: Damnit, I should have gone over and said we were back
Raj: Yeah, it was "first come, first serve."
- Permalink: Damnit, I should have gone over and said we were back Yeah, it...
Wolowitx: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings
- Permalink: You think you can put up with Sheldon? Well I'm a hindu. My r...
But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program!
- Permalink: But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we...
Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?
- Permalink: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer wit...
Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie
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If you really want to clean up your Karma, go get my fricking latteRaj [to Leonard]
- Permalink: If you really want to clean up your Karma, go get my fricking la...
Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.
- Permalink: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's f...
Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Wolowitz: ... Thank you
- Permalink: Hey, how's it going? Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.