The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSRajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you
Raj [to Sheldon]
I'm going to be deported, sent home in disgrace, exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay, or as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service
I don't want to go back to India! It's hot, and it's loud, and there are so many people! You have no idea -- they're everywhere.
Wolowitz: Raj, I'm gonna really miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me?
Wolowitz: 17 hours is a really long flight, how about we meet halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan
Wolowitz: We'll skype
Leonard: I've always been a little confused abut this -- why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I'm in I'll take you out, I swear to cow!
Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Raj: What happened?
Sheldon: Obviously another carnal fiasco with the 'Shiksee' goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shik-Sa.
Sheldon: Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?
Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever
Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"
