Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Leonard: Penny and I have some big news.
Penny: We're engaged!
Raj: And I thought me having sex with Emily was gonna be the big news.
- Permalink: And I thought me having sex with Emily was gonna be the big news.
Emily: If I saw you out with another woman, I'd be pretty upset.
Raj: Thank you. Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen.
Sheldon: I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
Raj: You don't have to make me anything.
Sheldon: No, I do. You're upset about Emily and you're Indian. I need to make you chai tea. Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds. Do you happen to have any on you?
Raj: Sorry, I left them in my turban.
Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture. That's close enough.
Raj: Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.
- Permalink: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.
Raj: If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a Honey Baked Ham.
May the forth be with you. Get it?
- Permalink: May the forth be with you. Get it?
Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
Emily: They kind of turn me on.
Raj: And play.
- Permalink: And play.
Raj: Why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes The Sound of Music?
Howard: Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes The Sound of Music..
- Permalink: Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes The Sound of Music..
Howard: Oh, come on-- she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriend's body parts and you'd still go out with her.
Raj: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.
- Permalink: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.
Raj: You know, when Cinnamon won't take her medicine, I hide it in a piece of cheese.
Howard: Good idea. We can wrap the pill in cheese, feed it to Cinnamon, and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.
Howard: I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible.
Raj: Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere.
Howard: She is. But I like that attitude.
- Permalink: She is. But I like that attitude.
Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.
- Permalink: Yeah, literally, none of it.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.