Raj: If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a Honey Baked Ham.

May the forth be with you. Get it?

Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
Raj: Sure.
Emily: They kind of turn me on.
Raj: And play.

Raj: Why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes The Sound of Music?
Howard: Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes The Sound of Music..

Howard: Oh, come on-- she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriend's body parts and you'd still go out with her.
Raj: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.

Raj: You know, when Cinnamon won't take her medicine, I hide it in a piece of cheese.
Howard: Good idea. We can wrap the pill in cheese, feed it to Cinnamon, and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.

Howard: I hope I get to meet her as soon as possible.
Raj: Why the rush? She isn't going anywhere.
Howard: She is. But I like that attitude.

Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.

Emily: How serious were you two?
Raj: Well, to be honest, we only went on four dates, hugged twice, kissed once, and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.
Emily: Wait, so... a girl you never slept with sent you an e-mail and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me?
Raj: Yeah.
Emily: That's kind of adorable.

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Penny: Who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry ... hey, who's not the murderer?

It's too late. He's been murdered by someone in this room.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?