Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Emily: How serious were you two?
Raj: Well, to be honest, we only went on four dates, hugged twice, kissed once, and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.
Emily: Wait, so... a girl you never slept with sent you an e-mail and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me?
Emily: That's kind of adorable.
- Permalink: That's kind of adorable.
Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Howard: Both great.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma
- Permalink: Thanks, Grandma
Penny: Who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry ... hey, who's not the murderer?
- Permalink: Sorry ... hey, who's not the murderer?
It's too late. He's been murdered by someone in this room.
- Permalink: It's too late. He's been murdered by someone in this room.
I find a girl I like, and you're stealing her?!
- Permalink: I find a girl I like, and you're stealing her?!
Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I look like C-3P0 and Pee-Wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-Wee Herman.
Raj: Still funny.
- Permalink: Still funny.
Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say (deep voice): "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again."
Raj: If she did, it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.
- Permalink: If she did, it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.
Howard: Is that book called Lies I Tell to Get Sex?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?
- Permalink: Can I borrow it when you're done?
Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out.
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like 2 years.
Bernadette: Well, I feel gross.
Raj: Now it's making it seem more real for me.
- Permalink: Now it's making it seem more real for me.
Screw that! I sat on the floor for 7 years. I'm staying right here!
- Permalink: Screw that! I sat on the floor for 7 years. I'm staying right here!
This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.
- Permalink: This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.
Raj: This might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.
- Permalink: Well, that's the last time I play with that.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.