Randy: You know in a way I think I was even jealous of you being in a boy band. Isn't that stupid?
Stan: Not really. Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.

Randy: Looks like she had a heart attack in the middle of the night.
Grandpa Marsh: Oh, no wonder she didn't say 'Good night'.
Randy: Ew!

Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!

Grandpa Marsh

Grandpa: Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap? You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Sharon: Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Grandpa Marsh: Well he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and makeup wrapping their peckers around each other's faces!

(Randy breaks it to the quintuplets that their grandma died)
Randy: Everyone who has a grandma, step forward.
(Stan, Cartman, Kenny and quintuplets step forward)
Randy: Not so fast, girls.

Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.

Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.

We love Chinpokomon too! It's super toy number one!

Randy: Here's Korn's van!
Lady in mob: Let's flip it over!
Officer Barbrady: Okay people, let's try to stay orderly. The best way to do this is to all get on one side and push from the top.

Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!

Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.

Stan: Dad, they tried to shoot at us!
Randy: Not now, Stan.

South Park Quotes

(Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!

Janet Reno

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.