Randy: You know in a way I think I was even jealous of you being in a boy band. Isn't that stupid?
Stan: Not really. Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.

Randy: Looks like she had a heart attack in the middle of the night.
Grandpa Marsh: Oh, no wonder she didn't say 'Good night'.
Randy: Ew!

Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!

Grandpa Marsh

Grandpa: Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap? You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Sharon: Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Grandpa Marsh: Well he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and makeup wrapping their peckers around each other's faces!

(Randy breaks it to the quintuplets that their grandma died)
Randy: Everyone who has a grandma, step forward.
(Stan, Cartman, Kenny and quintuplets step forward)
Randy: Not so fast, girls.

Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.

Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.

We love Chinpokomon too! It's super toy number one!

Randy: Here's Korn's van!
Lady in mob: Let's flip it over!
Officer Barbrady: Okay people, let's try to stay orderly. The best way to do this is to all get on one side and push from the top.

Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!

Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.

Stan: Dad, they tried to shoot at us!
Randy: Not now, Stan.

South Park Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron