Bored to Death

Ray Hueston Quotes (Page 4)

Leah: I'm proud of you for going to therapy. (kisses Ray who doesn't kiss back)
Ray: I'm sorry, I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?!
Ray: When I was a little kid, I used to like to push my penis in to make it look like it disappeared. Today, it happened all by itself.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ray: Okay. I'll trade you therapy for sex. It's been almost three weeks.
Leah: I think it's sweet you know how long it's been. (goes to Ray and hugs him)
 • Rating: Unrated

Leah: I don't feel good about this. I don't want you to be a sperm donor.
Ray: But it's flattering. They're fans of my work. I've never had lesbian fans before.
Leah: They should go to a sperm bank. You can't just give your sperm to two girls you met in a cafe.
Ray: I met you in a cafe.
 • Rating: Unrated

Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.
 • Rating: Unrated

Yousef: (to Ray before his colonic) Don't be scared. It will a good experience for you, I promise. I am going to find all your treasures.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: When I'm with her, I'm going to eat vegan, but when I'm not with her, I'm going to eat like an American.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathon: I can help people.
Ray: Are you delusional?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: I have a real phobia around my ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: You can't do that. That's illegal.
Jonathan: I say that I'm not license. And that makes it more legal... ish.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: I never should have started dating a woman with kids. I have to be the only child in a woman's life.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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