Richard: (about Trix's boyfriend) Do you really think he was wearing a track suit? Well, I wonder if he was wearing Nikes also.
Lorelai: 'Just do it' takes on a whole new meaning doesn't it?

Emily: That's a camera?
Lorelai: That's a camera.
Richard: It looks like a toy.

Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Madeline: Very True.

(Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks through the front door. The phone is ringing)
Lorelai: Agh!
Rory: Hey.
Lorelai: Gah!
Rory: Mom! (answers the phone) Hello? (hangs up) That ringing is not in your head, you know.
Lorelai: Uh, you've gotta read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent!
Rory: Why didn't you answer the phone?
Lorelai: Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I knew who it was.
Rory: Who was it?
Lorelai: The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh.
Rory: Dean?
Lorelai: Dean the determined.
Rory: Oh man.
(phone rings again)
Lorelai: Five bucks says I know who that is.
Rory: (answers the phone) Hello?
Richard: Rory, it's your grandfather.
Rory: Oh, hey Grandpa.
Lorelai: He did that on purpose.

Emily: Richard, are you serious about this?
Richard: As a heart attack.

Richard: How tall are you, anyway?
Dean: Why, you want to dance?
Richard: No, thank you. (thinks about it) But I appreciate the offer though.

I am an annoyance to my wife and a burden to my daughter. I suddenly know what it's like to be obsolete.

Richard: I paid Yale a great deal of money. Getting Rory in would be a breeze.
Lorelai: We don't like breezes, they mess up our hair.

Richard: I always wake up at 5:30 in the morning.
Lorelai: Wow. Why?
Richard: Well, I've been doing it for as long as I remember.
Lorelai: Be bold, Dad. Wake up at quarter to six one day.

Richard: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yes, Dad?
Richard: May I speak to you for a moment?
Michel: (under his breath; in a sing-song voice) Someone is in trouble.

Richard: Who's going to help Rory get into Harvard?
Lorelai: Reese Witherspoon.

(Lorelai rushes through the front door followed by Richard)
Lorelai: Rory, we're home!
Richard: Next time, stop the car completely before you get out.
Lorelai: Rory, for the love of God, be home!
Rory: I'm here, sorry! I was on the phone. How was your... (Lorelai wraps Rory in her arms and hugs her very tightly) Ooh, okay.
Lorelai: I don't think I've ever loved you quite as much as I love you right now.
Rory: Ah, ribs cracking, organs crushing.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, love hurts.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Emily: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I'm taking out the avocado.
Emily: Since when don't you like avocado?
Lorelai: Since I said "Gross, what is this?" and you said "Avocado".
....(later)...
Emily: What's wrong with the tomato?
Lorelai: It was fraternizing with the enemy.

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.