Barney: Come on Robin, it's my penis we're talkin' about! You've seen her, she's magnificent!
Robin: She?
Barney: Every penis is a girl Robin. Everyone knows that, like ships...and lake monsters.

Kevin: Hey guys where are Marshall and Lily?
Robin: Something terrible happened.
Kevin: Are they ok? Are they in the hospital?
Barney: No, somewhere much, much worse...
Marshall: Long Island!

I just can't do 2011 anymore. Are you with me?

Sandy: I don't know what went wrong.
Robin: Well proposing a three way was bad, starting without us was worse, finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.

Sucks to be you braces.

Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

You know what they call this in the Couv? BBQ weather!

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

Welcome to the tribe hoser!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Robin: What's that thing?
Barney: For some it was the ashes of my parents. For others it was the trophy from Wimbledon and believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both. Game, enormous set and match!

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted