How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Barney: Come on Robin, it's my penis we're talkin' about! You've seen her, she's magnificent!
Robin: She?
Barney: Every penis is a girl Robin. Everyone knows that, like ships...and lake monsters.

Kevin: Hey guys where are Marshall and Lily?
Robin: Something terrible happened.
Kevin: Are they ok? Are they in the hospital?
Barney: No, somewhere much, much worse...
Marshall: Long Island!

I just can't do 2011 anymore. Are you with me?

Sandy: I don't know what went wrong.
Robin: Well proposing a three way was bad, starting without us was worse, finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.

Sucks to be you braces.

Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

You know what they call this in the Couv? BBQ weather!

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

Welcome to the tribe hoser!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Robin: What's that thing?
Barney: For some it was the ashes of my parents. For others it was the trophy from Wimbledon and believe it or not, for one busty dullard, it was both. Game, enormous set and match!

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 290 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney