How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother

Hey Don here's some breaking news ... there's a zit breaking out on your forehead!

Ted: If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months he couldn't possibly be Barney's father.
Robin: He's also quite the detective.

Robin: What, you know what you're doing down there.
Ted: Oh Teddy West Side can bring it, we know this.

Ted: Gotta see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? I swear, one in five guys.

OK, I'm ready to have sex now.

The never ending battle of my life. Career vs. romance.

Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.

Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.

On the plus side, he probably killed some roaches on impact.

Barney: She's a cougar, Ted!
Robin: I thought you said you can't be a cougar if you're over 50.
Barney: She's a Mellencamp.

Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 290 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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