How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch How I Met Your Mother.

Hey Don here's some breaking news ... there's a zit breaking out on your forehead!

Ted: If Sam only knew Loretta for a few months he couldn't possibly be Barney's father.
Robin: He's also quite the detective.

Robin: What, you know what you're doing down there.
Ted: Oh Teddy West Side can bring it, we know this.

Ted: Gotta see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? I swear, one in five guys.

OK, I'm ready to have sex now.

The never ending battle of my life. Career vs. romance.

Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.

Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.

On the plus side, he probably killed some roaches on impact.

Barney: She's a cougar, Ted!
Robin: I thought you said you can't be a cougar if you're over 50.
Barney: She's a Mellencamp.

Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 290 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney