Robin: Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.Barney: Okay. Wait! [lifts up covers] Right-Click, Save As, Into the b-peg folder and Okay! This never happened. It's a good plan
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Barney: So... I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Robin: And I just slept with ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
Barney: Best friend.
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Barney: In my experience the way this normally goes is we lie here for a while; make a little awkward chit-chat.
Robin: Check.
Barney: Then I make up some cabinet meeting, heart surgery, rocket test flight I got to be at, slip out of your apartment and never call you again.
Robin: And later at the bar you tell your good friend Robin the story of your latest conquest and she wonders to herself "Who is this sad, self-loathing idiot who climbed in to bed with Barney Stinson?"
Barney: Actually, you usually say that out loud
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Barney: You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second.
Robin: Right, first being you.
Barney: No, actually, it's this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?
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Barney: Shotgun for eternity!
Robin: You can't call shotgun for eternity.
Barney: I call that I can call things
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Ted: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?
Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough
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Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You can not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry five. Recently widowed.
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Robin: We can split a cab to work together, we always have a standing lunch date, and last night, at the hockey game, Curt got us into the locker room and I met Mason Raymond. [gang looks clueless] Left wing for the Vancouver Canucks!
Barney: What's the opposite of name-dropping?
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Robin [wearing no makeup at the gym]: Shut up. Lily, tell him to shut up.
Lily: I'm sorry, lesbian prison guard. Do we know each other?
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Robin: Wow. That makes me want to join a gym. So I can get super strong and punch you really hard in the face.
Ted: Yes, we should all do it.
Lily: Yeah. Let's all punch Barney in the face.
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Total Quotes: 173
