Blahblah: You guys dated? For how long?Robin: A year. But, don't worry. The relationship wasn't that good. At the end, it was mostly about sex. Which wasn't that good. I was the problem. I just lie there. But Ted is very good. He will get you where you need to go.
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Lily: Dumped by a six-year-old.
Robin: Whatever, he's a stupid-head
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Doug: You're supposed to pour the milk first!
Robin: No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!
Doug: It tastes better milk first!
Robin: It tastes the same!
Doug: Why are you wearing my dad's pants?
Robin: Milk first it is.
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Robin: What's my "but"? You know, I'm really nice, but...
Ted (voiceover): But she's afraid of commitment.
Lily (voiceover): But she's a gun nut.
Barney (voiceover): But she's... Canadian.
Marshall (voiceover): But she doesn't like Field of Dreams.
All: I can't think of anything.
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Robin: I like sports cars, but that doesn't mean I wanna push a Ferrari through my vagina.
Barney: Shotgun.
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Robin: I've just realized something.
Vacation Robin: That you've lost your ways?
Robin: No. That you really suck. You're boring and lame, and you're getting sand everywhere! Seriously, where is all the sand coming from?
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Robin: Well, I have to have a job,
Vacation Robin: "I have to have a job." It's so American.
Robin: I'm Canadian. You know that
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Robin: Quick announcement: I am glad you are here, fellow travelers. A couple rules. Ah, not rules, let's call them "Guidelines for Harmonious Living".
Guideline for Harmonious Living Number One: The kitchen sink is for dishes, the toilet is for pee-pee.
Guideline for Harmonious Living Number Two: Marijuana is illegal in the United States, yes, even when baked into a blueberry muffin, that someone might mistakenly eat for breakfast, before leaving for their job as a TV newcaster. "This just in, look at my hand, how weird is my hand?" is not an appropriate thing to say on the air.
And Three...
[everyone cheers]
Robin: and number three is keep the noise to a minimum!
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Robin: Wow. Gael, you're peeing while I'm in the shower. Okay, old Robin would have been like, "Dude, occupado," but, you know what? I'm cool with it. Pee it up. In fact, when you're done, why don't you come in here and join me?
Random Guy: Don't mind if I do, love.
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Barney: Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
Robin: My journey was transformative and I reassert my committment to both the aforementioned paramour & the philosophies he espouses.
Gael: What are we talking of? Baseball?
Barney: It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials. Support my hypothesis, Ted.
Ted: I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
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Total Quotes: 173
