Robin: I've never been to the Empire State Building before, but I'm glad I waited.Lily: I haven't been to the Empire State Building either, but I'm glad I get to go with my fiancée.
Marshall: And I signed an abstinence pledge in high school, and it's totally cool. Also, stay away from drugs... except pot.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: This is a low moment for the Barnacle. I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead ... don't look at me, I'm hideous.
Robin: You just look like a regular guy.
Barney: Exactly, I'm a Ted! I'm wearing elastic waist fleece pants
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Barney! What the hell are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing outside. Are you insane?
Barney: Blame Lily and her oppressive no-cigars-in-the-appartment-rule. God, it's like Marshall is marrying the Taliban.
[Barney sneezes on his hand]
Barney: High-five.
Robin: Ewww, no. Look, you have to go home and get to bed
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Bras suck. They're so confining and unnatural.
Lily: Yeah, they're like a boobie zoo.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: You are driving me crazy. No wonder your fake husband moved to Hong Kong.
Robin: He moved there for business!
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: You're scared of the seven dwarves?
Robin: Just of Doc. He's creepy... I mean, the guy went to medical school, what is he doing living with six coalminers
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: Oh Robin, that's a really cute outfit.
Robin: Really? Thanks..
Lily: Yea, it has to go, I'm the bride and you can't look better than me
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Carl: Hey, there's a call for Swarls Barkley. Swarls Barkley?
Robin [taking the phone]: Hey, Ted. No he's not here. Nice one though. Remember that one
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Lily [talking about Mr. Druthers]: He was mean. And that's why I took away his ball.
Ted: What's the ball have to do with anything?
Lily: Druthers have to be taught he can't behave like that. When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys. The kid would be upset at first but then he'd learn to stop being mean.
Robin: Hey guys, what's going on?
Ted: Lily stole my boss's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
Robin: Why? Was he being mean?
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Ted: Okay, we have to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's surrounded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude?? No way.
Robin: Oh come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 173
