Ron Swanson Quotes (Page 16)
Season 2, Episode 21: "Telethon"
Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I have to nap up. If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 20: "94 Meetings"
Ron: April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Ron: How are we doing?
Andy: Pretty good. I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. Is that a problem?
Ann: I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign.
• Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in.
Jerry: Ron, do you need help with anything?
Ron: No, we're good. Thanks. In fact, you can head home early.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Round up whoever's free. I'm going to need more Ron Swansons.
• Rating: Unrated
Ron: To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmare-ish hellscape. However to Leslie Knope-
Leslie: Oh how fun!
April: Yay.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 20: "Summer Catalog"
Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leslie: I really made love to the pooch on this one.
Ron: Screwed the pooch?
Leslie: I don't like that term. It's too vulgar.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 223
