Ron Swanson Quotes (Page 17)
Season 2, Episode 20: "Summer Catalog"
Leslie: Well, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.
Ron: I ate it already.
Leslie: What?
Ron: I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Leslie, my first wife Tammy tried throwing me a surprise birthday party . When I saw my friends hiding through the window, I drove to a gas station, called the cops and told them people had broken into my home. I'm not big on surprises.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 19: "Park Safety"
Ron: A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schlamazel is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlamazel of our office.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 18: "The Possum"
Ron: No, I'm bringing my workshop up to the Swanson code. And if the Swanson code happens to overlap with the city government code...
Mark: Shut up!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I understand that city codes exist. And I know why they exist. And I understand that you enforce them.
Mark: OK.
Ron: OK, good talk. Can you sign off on my plans now?
• Rating: Unrated
Ron: Those dates are arbitrary. They're like those expiration dates that the government forces companies to put on yogurt and medicine.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mark: You've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mark: Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.
• Rating: Unrated
Ron: Hey, Mark. Welcome to my haven. You're the first non-me to set foot in this building in ten years.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 223
