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Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.

Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this deputy director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone.

Be proud of yourself. You deserve an award. Not this one, obviously. This one belongs to me. But some other one. Some other lesser award.

Awards are stupid, which is why I fully intend to decline this nonsense and recommend it go to Leslie because she works really hard and I don't. However, she cares way too much about crap like this, which is why I can't pass up this opportunity to tease her about it.

April: You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year it looks like.
Ron: Oh, it's about time.

Old Woman #1: I told you so. It's Duke Silver.
Old Woman #2: Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music.
Ron: You're mistaken, ladies. Move along.

Justin: Pick you up tomorrow around noon.
Leslie: For our nooner, which is a cute word!
Ron: Explain it to her later.
Leslie: Explain what?

Phil: Were you aware that all the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know. Would you have?
Ron: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: OK. Thank you, Ron.
Ron: Are we done?

If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.

The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.

After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey and then I finished crafting this mall harp, using a bandsaw, a spokeshave and an oscillating spindle sander.

Displaying quotes 205 - 216 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy
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