If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.

The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.

After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey and then I finished crafting this mall harp, using a bandsaw, a spokeshave and an oscillating spindle sander.

Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.

I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.

I wanna punch you in the face so bad right now.

OK good, because I have to run a public forum, supervise the maintenance crews and teach crafts at the senior center. Simultaneously.

We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. They'll hunt the kids for sport.

My name is Ron. You don't need to know my last name. Whoever wants to talk, go ahead and we'll be out of here in a tight fifteen.

There's a bunch of messages waiting for you about a bunch of things I don't understand.

Take it down a notch. You already won your Oscar, DiCaprio.