Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Ron: I have my rights as a US citizen to blow a hole in that f*cking door and get out! It's in the constitution!
Leslie: There's no swearing in the constitution.

Ron: That's not the whole story.
Leslie: What does that mean?
Ron: It means what it means. That is not the whole story of why I left.

Leslie: Come on Ron, we were friends for 10 years.
Ron: We were work proximity associates.

Ron: WHAT IF WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY AND HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE?
Leslie: I DID NOT CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY!

I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins.

I'm going to break out of here, then I'm going to snap you in half.

Leslie: You're the most unreasonable person I've ever meet and I'm not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.
Ron: You're bad at scrapbooking.
Leslie: Whaa--?

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Leslie: That was all flash no substance!
Ron: It was exactly as substantive as your presentation.

This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.

Ron: Terry, what has Leslie been up to?
Terry: Oh getting ready for big press conference!
Ben: Terry come on!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.