Ron Swanson Quotes (Page 9)
Season 3, Episode 16: "Li'l Sebastian"
Ron: Hello Leslie, how long have you been sleeping with Ben?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 15: "The Bubble"
Ron: Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: This is my favorite part about having a new city manager. They always try to shake things up and their ideas are terrible and it brings city hall to a grinding halt. I just grab a few donuts, sit back, and enjoy the show.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 14: "Road Trip"
Ron: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teet until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 13: "The Fight"
Ron: Is this everybody?
Donna: Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I want this night to get krazy. Get me a shot of snake juice. I hear it has a dope aftertaste.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 12: "Eagleton"
Ron: I don't like loud noises and people making a fuss. And I especially don't like people celebrating, because they know a piece of private information about me. Plus the whole thing is a scam. Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me five years ago when Eagleton offered me that job and I asked you for your advice?
Ron: Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?
Leslie: Right, but then after, when I pressed you, what did you say?
Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together, and that I might disagree with your philosophy but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.
Leslie: Yes, that's how I remember it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 223
