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Two-and-a-half-men

Charlie: Rose, I thought you were in England.
Rose: I was asked to leave.

Jake: Hey, Rose, you wanna go see a movie later?
Rose: Maybe. We'll see how your uncle's feeling. He's very, very sick.
Alan: So, basically, what we're saying here is, you'll go to the movies with anybody but me.
Jake: Not anybody. I wouldn't go with Hitler.

Charlie: London certainly agrees with you, Rose. You look beautiful.
Rose: I just can't believe you're here.
Charlie: Yeah, well, I wanted you to know, I've been thinking a lot about you lately and, I miss you.
Rose: Oh, Charlie, I miss you, too.
Charlie: Are you seeing anybody?
Rose: Actually, I am seeing someone, but I'm not really sure where it's going yet.
Charlie: To be honest, there is one lady I've been dating. She's actually my own age!
Rose: No!
Charlie: Yeah, but my therapist says she's not good for me.

Rose: You can't expect me to go back to what we had without a commitment.
Charlie: "A commitment"?
Rose: I think we should get married.
Charlie: "Married"?
Rose: Sell the house in Malibu and move to a kid-friendly neighborhood here in London.
Charlie: Kids?
Rose: We're going to have kids, aren't we?

Rose: Hey, Charlie, got a minute? I'd like to talk to you privately.
Charlie: Now is not a good time, Rose.
Rose: Will you call me later?
Charlie: Sure.
Rose: Promise?
Charlie: Yeah.
Rose: Cross your heart and hope to die?
Charlie: Yes!
Rose: Stick a needle in your eye.
Charlie: Okay...
Rose: Boil in oil until you fry?
Charlie: Dear God, Rose, I will call you.
Rose: Tootles..
(Rose leaves)
Alan: You're not gonna call her, are you?
Charlie: Nah, I think I'm gonna go with the needle in the eye

Oh, I almost forgot. I thought you should have this. It's our first restraining order. Look how shaky your signature was. You were so spooked

Charlie: Rose, this isn't a Christmas party!
Rose: Then what do you call this?
Charlie: The beginning of a news story that ends with the phrase "And then he turned the weapon on himself"

Rose: Charlie found his boundary.
Berta: It's a miracle.
Rose: A Christmas miracle

Jake: Are you crazy?
Rose: There's several schools of thought on that

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