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Two-and-a-half-men

Charlie: Let me tell you something about feelings. Feelings are like your mother's breasts. You know where they are, but they're best left unfelt.
Rose: It's an interesting analogy, but may I point out that a mother's breasts are a source for nourishment and comfort?
Charlie: Yeah, well, my mother's breasts were a source of silicone and Russian vodka

Rose: How cool is it that Steven Tyler moved in next door? I lost my virginity to him.
Charlie: You mean his music.
Rose: No

Alan: Rose.
Rose: Yes, baby.
Alan: You're a stalker.
Rose: We prefer to be called "boundary-challenged"

Rose: This is a side of Alan Harper I've never seen before -- forceful, confident
Alan: Oh, thank you
Rose: I don't like it

Alan: We need to talk about boundaries
Rose: It was just my pinky, Alan
Alan: No, that was fun

Rose: Every time we have sex I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head.
Charlie: That's gonna keep me up at night

Rose: Gordon is my soul mate. He completes me. We're inseparable. [To Gordon]: Wait here, I want to talk to Charlie alone

Jake: Who's that?
Rose: Gordon, my boyfriend.
Jake: How come he's not allowed in?
Rose: I'm trying to avoid an awkward situation.
Charlie: Too late.
Jake: You bringing him to my birthday party?
Rose: I don't know. Charlie, is the wound too fresh?
Charlie: I think I can handle it

Rose: Isn't your mental and emotional well-being more important than a couple of fleeting orgasms?
Charlie: It's not even more important than one

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