I'm not quite in the mood to celebrate any of your former husbands right now.

If he were a vampire, I could slip garlic in her waffles or something.

Rufus: Dirty Dancing?
Jenny: Yeah, it's corny but it's kinda good.
Rufus: Come on. It's totally good.

Jenny: Thanks Dad. I really like Damien.
Rufus: [to Jenny] You're young, you'll get over it.

[to Jenny] I look at you and I don't see my daughter anymore.

[to Jenny] I know you like him but you can't hang around with people who are mixed up with drugs.

Lily: I did kiss him.
Rufus: It must have been one Hell of a kiss for you to build all these lies around it.

Rufus: I thought you'd be in school by now.
Dan: I thought you'd be on the Upper East Side... with your wife.

Rufus: What are you doing? Organizing the coat closet? I thought you did that yesterday. And the day before...
Lily: Vanya has organized a clothing drive. Coats for Kiev.
Rufus: Vanya's from Minsk.

Rufus: Lil, none of this is making any sense. Does this have anything to do with Serena?
Lily: Other than the fact that she won't speak to me? That she's holed up with some married politician acting like some teenage Rielle Hunter?

[to Lily] Why did you stay with Cece after she got better instead of coming home to me?

I still really don't get how these events work.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Life isn't a fairy tale, and happy endings are few and far between.

Gossip Girl

Rita: Luckily, Robin was working with me in New York this week and able to bring along a very special video of Blair.
Tiffany: What is it?
Penelope: A Jack Bass sex tape?
Tiffany: A Nelly Yuki snuff film?