Ryan (as NHL coach): On your marks. Get set...
Jim (as Goldenface): Die.

Ryan: I don't wanna be married until everyone can be married.
Oscar: You know what Ryan? I talked to the other gay guys, and we're okay with it. We all agreed it's fine for you to get married.

Ryan: Yes. Yes, I'll do it.
Andy: Alright! Thank you so much. It's gonna be awesome.
Ryan: And if I flake, I flake.

Oscar: How long can you sustain this without a cash infusion?
Ryan: We have nine solid days. I love these questions, keep 'em coming.

Welcome to the party, everyone have their Koooool-Aiiiiid?

Ryan: For all their generosity of spirit, they password protect their wireless?
Kelly: Try Jesus.

I've been to that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

I hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium in the masses.

Hey man, can I get a plus five? And it's all guys.

Ryan: I just sent myself a woof.
Erin: Ryan, you have a Woof on Line 1.

Ryan: I think you're attractive. And I wanna sleep with you.
Erin: What about Kelly?
Ryan: You read my mind.
Erin: Is this a joke?
Ryan: Yes!

Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.

The Office Quotes

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.