The Office

Ryan Howard Quotes (Page 5)

Dwight: It is time to unveil the tree.
Oscar: Hey, Rockefeller Center!
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.
Jim: This is all we have.
Ryan: Ugh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: Okay. So, um. Listen. I know about your diabolical plan.
Dwight: What?! "Diabolical plan?" I wouldn't even know how to begin-
Ryan: [holds up My Diabolical Plan by Dwight K. Schrute] I found a copy of it in the copier tray.
Dwight: So what do you want.
Ryan: I want the same thing you want. I want to take Jim Halpert down. I want in.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done, well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work, right now. I will stay late tonight.
Jim: Right.
Ryan: Um, I'm very sorry. About everything.
Jim: You're a good kid. You know what, it gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy.
Ryan: Is there Internet?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.
Ryan: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her?
Creed: I don't know man. I just don't know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael. Well, well, well, what is this contraption, I do declare?!
Oscar: It's my Blackberry, Michael. I'm trying to get updates on the company.
Michael: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare!
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Every time you say something, it means you're declaring it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ryan: Hey, quick question. Are you scared?
Michael: Never. About what? A little. What are you talking about?
Ryan: We heard about the punch.
Michael: What punch?
Kelly: Pam. She's gonna punch the crap out of your face after work.
Michael: I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Kelly: No. It's a punch. And Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Ryan: I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Michael: I... umm... I'm good.
Ryan: Alright. See you there.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Creed: I vant to sell you blood!
Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight: THAT!
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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