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Creed: I vant to sell you blood!
Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now.
- Permalink: I vant to sell you blood! That's really not the trend in vampi...
Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
- Permalink: Where'd you get that mallard? What the hell is a mallard? TH...
Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!
- Permalink: Let's get back to the matter at hand... Whatever. You know. Sl...
Kevin: Whoa, where'd you get that hat?
Ryan: I'd rather not say.
- Permalink: Whoa, where'd you get that hat? I'd rather not say.
Michael: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book with.
Ryan: Then do it.
Ryan: Write a book.
[cut to Michael in his office]
Michael: The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter one...
- Permalink: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book w...
You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses, some of them lose weight.
- Permalink: You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in...
Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-
Pam: Yeah, no. I'll uh, the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this? [cut to interview] The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.
- Permalink: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding? Yeah, I...
Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that food is one thing I can control.
- Permalink: Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that...
Michael: Who else? Who else? Ryan?
Ryan: I don't do lunch. I'm eating five small meals a day now.
- Permalink: Who else? Who else? Ryan? I don't do lunch. I'm eating five sm...
Ryan: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, so now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on.
Pam: He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. He'll make his decision by the end of the day.
Ryan: I think you should get it. You really grew into it.
Pam: Oh. I think you should get it. You've changed a lot and you'd be good at it.
Ryan: If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? That would go a long way coming from you.
- Permalink: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, s...
Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Dwight: That's my client.
Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Dwight: Give me the phone.
Ryan: Things have been generally good.
Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart.
Ryan: At these prices with this service...
Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. [tries to pull phone out of Ryan's hand] Ryan!
Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over.
Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody!
- Permalink: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can d...
Michael: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow.
Michael: That was us, right there.
Pam: We were something else.
Ryan: What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls.
Ryan: Chiklis style.
Michael: Yeah, the Commish.
Ryan: Yes, but Chiklis Shield style. Not Commish style.
Michael: Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
- Permalink: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You ...