Ryan Howard
Quotes

Michael: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book with.
Ryan: Then do it.
Michael: What.
Ryan: Write a book.
[cut to Michael in his office]
Michael: The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter one...
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Ryan: You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses, some of them lose weight.
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Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-
Pam: Yeah, no. I'll uh, the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this? [cut to interview] The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.
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Ryan: Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that food is one thing I can control.
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Michael: Who else? Who else? Ryan?
Ryan: I don't do lunch. I'm eating five small meals a day now.
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Ryan: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople, so now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on.
Pam: He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. He'll make his decision by the end of the day.
Ryan: I think you should get it. You really grew into it.
Pam: Oh. I think you should get it. You've changed a lot and you'd be good at it.
Ryan: If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? That would go a long way coming from you.
Pam: Yeah.
Ryan: Thanks.
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Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Ryan: Exactly.
Dwight: That's my client.
Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Dwight: Give me the phone.
Ryan: Things have been generally good.
Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart.
Ryan: At these prices with this service...
Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. [tries to pull phone out of Ryan's hand] Ryan!
Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over.
Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody!
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Michael: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow.
Pam: Mm-hmmm.
Michael: That was us, right there.
Pam: We were something else.
Ryan: What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: Chiklis style.
Michael: Yeah, the Commish.
Ryan: Yes, but Chiklis Shield style. Not Commish style.
Michael: Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
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Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend.
Ryan: Oh, thanks, man.
Michael: Pamela.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
Michael: Yep.
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Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.
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