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Ryan Howard
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Season 5, Episode 25: "Broke"
David: So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. We can finally put this whole thing behind us? Hmm?
Michael: No.
Pam: Can you give us another minute please?
David: Yeah.
Charles: Oh, okay.
Pam: Michael.
Ryan: How could you do this to me, Michael? You just cost me $60,000.
Pam: Why are you assuming you'd get the whole thing?
Michael: It's a lot of money, okay. But we need money coming in every week. We need jobs. Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish?
Ryan: I would rather have $60,000, honestly.
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David: Okay, now I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about $60,000. Hmm? $60,0000. Michael?
Michael: [stutters] We'll have to talk-
Charles: What?
Ryan: We'll have to talk about this.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Just amongst ourselves.
David: Okay, yes. Please take the room. Be right outside. Take your time.
Michael: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Pam: $60,000.
Michael: We are so rich.
Pam: Are you kidding me?
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David: Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
Michael: And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Ryan: Michael, you haven't even heard-
Michael: Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
David: $12,000.
Michael: Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.
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Michael: Oh, I'm really worried that I'm going to say it.
Pam: No, Michael.
Michael: Ah...
Ryan: No, man. You're- you're fine.
Pam: We have to come from a position of strength.
Michael: I'm good, I'm good.
Ryan: Just put it out of your mind.
Michael: It is. I'm good.
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Ryan: Okay, so you are not going to reveal in any way that we're broke.
Michael: Of course not.
Ryan: That we're having any problem at all.
Michael: Nope, nope, nope.
Pam: Just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything that might indicate that we are going broke.
Michael: Right, right. There is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke.
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Michael: How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy?
Financial Guy: Well, if these numbers you gave me are correct--
Michael: They are correct, sir.
Financial Guy: Then you can't afford to pay him anything.
Michael: Okay. A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.
Financial Guy: Your prices are too low.
Michael: Lowest in town.
Financial Guy: Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match your prices?
Pam: Corporate greed?
Ryan: Look, our price model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. Over time with enough volume, we become profitable.
Financial Guy: Yeah, with a fixed cost pricing model that's correct.
Ryan: Yeah.
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Michael: You know what we need? We need some couches in here.
Ryan: Michael, we should really consider getting a delivery guy.
Michael: Oh, you know what you would love? Is if we built a loft.
Pam: Why would I love that? Can we afford a delivery guy?
Michael: Like in a dorm room. You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. You can sleep up top.
Pam: Yeah, I know what a loft is.
Ryan: Most dorm rooms don't even have that.
Michael: Most do in the magazines.
Ryan: Let's see what a delivery guy costs.
Michael: We should look into that. Or we just go for the loft.
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Ryan: We've been making 5:00 AM deliveries for a couple weeks now. Ever since I've gotten clean there's something about fresh morning air that... just really makes me sick.
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Season 5, Episode 23: "The Michael Scott Paper Company"
Pam: And I guarantee, that you will be satisfied! 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee! We guarantee it. We look forward to doing business with you too. Thank you Russell.
Michael: Yes!
Pam: I made a sale!
Ryan: Oh!
Michael: You did!
Pam: Oh!
Michael: Oh yeah!
Ryan: We did it!
Michael: She did it!
Michael: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
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Michael: Get your free pancakes. They are delicious. They are nutritious. They are complimentary. Young sir, would you like a free pancake?
Ryan: I'm texting. I don't want to get my fingers sticky.
Michael: Ryan, enough with the texting machine. Come on. And tuck in your shirt, you're the face of this company.
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Total Quotes: 118

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