You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills.

I didn't realize this was a Whose Life is More Fucked contest. If it means that much to you, you win.

Sam: You can have the shirt off my back if you want it.
Bill: I'll take what I can get.

Never say never when there's the Internet

Sam: You can't shoot anyone else. These are our friends. This is our town.
Jason: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible... or the Constitution

Sam: I don't know about you, but I think I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time.
Sookie: Except this one, I just don't get. With everyone Rene killed, you could see his rage. But this?...Cuttin' out that poor woman's heart? Someone just wanted to see her suffer! Every time I think I know what's what, it turns out...I don't know anything

Sookie: Tara. You look so pretty. Like someone turned on a light under your skin.
Sam: Hospital gave her pain meds. She's... she's a little loopy.
Tara: Didn't you listen when I said I'd lose my shit if anything ever happened to you?
Sookie: Don't lose your shit. I'm fine. Did Sam tell you he saved my life? He turned into a dog and bit Rene.
Lafayette: Well, shit. I'm gonna need some of them drugs they gave you.
Sam: Okay, you guys. We should let her rest.
Sookie: Sam, you should let people see the real you. Cause you're kind, brave. There's nothin there not to love.
Sam: Right back at you

Sam [about Bill]: Can't you see what he's like? How can you even think about being with him?
Sookie: Sam, my living room is wrecked! I've got a killer, a vampire and a shapeshifter on my plate. Right about now I'm not thinkin' about being with anybody!

I'm tired of charring my ass on your back burner.

Sam: Sookie, you have no future with a vampire!
Sookie: They don't die. I've got nothing but a future with one

Tara: If I did work here..
Sam: It would take any time before you went off on somebody. I don't want to drive my customers away.
Tara: I only go off on stupid people.
Sam: Most of my customers are stupid people

True Blood Quotes

Pam: Thanks for the suggestion but we prefer to do things the old fashioned way.
Elijah: Yeah you and Blockbuster Video.

Eric: You surprise me. That's rare in a breather.
Sookie: You disgust me.
Eric: Perhaps I'll grow on you.
Sookie: I'd prefer cancer

True Blood Music

  Song Artist
Good Behaviour Powersolo iTunes
Pistol Whip Me Acumen Nation iTunes
Crazed Country Rebel Hank Williams III iTunes