Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

[to Brittany] You know I will always love you the most.

This isn't violent. This is clever. I taped it to my under boob.

[to Rachel] My psychic Mexican third eye is never wrong.

Your boyfriend wasn't a cater waiter he was a Gigolo; like Magic Mike with happy endings, for money.

Why don't you just dress up as the taco bell chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer?

You may look like the villain out of a cheesy high school movie, but you should know I am prepared to go all Danny Larusso on your ass.

Kurt: I wanted toned down.
Santana: This is toned down. In the original, the unicorn was riding you.

Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too.
Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. You can buy it at the Party Store.

Please stick a sock in it or ship yourself back to Scotland. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps the Clown.

I fully support your right to be as unhappy with Finn for the rest of your life as you want.

While there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.