New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXSchmidt Quotes
Nick: Schmidt...I need you to teach me to be a douchebag
Schmidt: Let's get started.
Winston: What is happening in the world?
Winston: Hey Schmidt, do you mind if I use the uh...manbulance?
Schmidt: The manbulance is resting. It's getting ready for the corporate retreat.
Winston: That's cool. I'm sure the mambulance couldn't handle all of Shelby's luggage anyway.
Schmidt: What the hell is wrong with you, Winston? It could fit the luggage of 9 Shelbys. It has the towing capacity of 1,000 Shelbys.
Schmidt: What are you wearing!?
CeCe: I don't...I don't know. I found this in the lost found at the gym. I'm not really sure how sexy a "sexretary" is supposed to be.
Schmidt: If you're trying to seduce me, don't dress up like my Aunt Frida at seder.
CeCe: The truth is, I would do anything. Do it anywhere.
Schmidt: Even fantasy locations?
I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!
Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.
I'm gonna go take a shower with Nick's bar soap like a common ranch hand.
