You would not know a sex blink if it blinked you in the sex!

It's MY garden party, and Zachary Quinto is not on the list!

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Winston: Nick could be your lawyer.
Schmidt: This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout?

Quit sorting through my trash, Coach! You're messing it all up!

What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you

Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

I just need to get to Rachel before he tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.

Schmidt: It's a bar mitzvah!
Nick: I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised.

Nick: I just want to make a good impression on Jess's sister.
Schmidt: Yeah, well, I want Julia Child not to be dead, but here we find ourselves.

Fellas, you made it! As promised, here's a coupon for a free sub.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt