Open your cellar doors, and let us taste your jams.

I'm like a Hebrew cheetah.

Nick: My arms are so sore from doing so many push-ups.
Schmidt: That seems like a lie.

Well, this just in, the dress code for Winston's banquet tonight is...optional.

You would not know a sex blink if it blinked you in the sex!

It's MY garden party, and Zachary Quinto is not on the list!

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Winston: Nick could be your lawyer.
Schmidt: This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout?

Quit sorting through my trash, Coach! You're messing it all up!

What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you

Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.