Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Human dental dam!

She's older--MUCH older--DEEPLY Korean.

Tough time in Schmidtsburgh.

Let's talk about it, in my perfect two-thirds replica of Don Draper's office.

Schmidt: No sig oths.
Cece: Just say "significant others."
Schmidt: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I'm on a tight sched.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to steal a swag.

Look at this puzzle. It's "ages 6 and up." You are "up," Winston. You are very "up."

Where have you been? I am having a major life crisis, and you guys are, what, just driving around, French kissing each other like a couple of Dutch hookers?

Puzzle me this then, Winston-- how do you live with yourself?

Elizabeth: There are so many cool traditions at this thing! The groom comes in on a white horse!
Schmidt: So, basically, they're just copying my bar mitzvah.

It's only romantic because it's a wedding. I'd be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know, let's say, her tax audit.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?