Hank Hickey: You know where he was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with 'not there.'
Chang: Times Square?

Chang: Hey! Those guys in there told me that you're the one that died in a fire and you're a ghost!
Janitor: And you just believed 'em? You just believed a bunch of ghosts??

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

I'm out. I chang-ed my mind.

I'll be spinning hits from yesterday and today, which are basically the same to me, since I have changnesia.

Thank you, sir. You won't regret this unless I rise up against you.

Dean Pelton: If you had hit a small student, they could have died.
Chang: I wouldn't do that. I have a heavy flashlight for them.

Jeff thinks he has it bad? As jeff's understudy, I have to wear a Jeff wig on top of my Chang hair and then my bald cap on top of that!

I swear, they're just for sex!

Chang: What do I do if I see a crime?
Security Guard: Do what a security guard does and call a cop.

Don't tell the monkey I'm living in here.

Does anyone have an alliance I can join? I'm really loyal.

Community Quotes

Jeff: Everyone on this campus is nuts
Leonard [in pool]: Not me!
Jeff: Oh come on Leonard, if you're going to argue with me, put on a bathing suit
Leonard: Busted

I've loved you since there was only one Soviet Union and one Damon Wayans.

Andre